Make It Count

Stop letting Facebook steal your friends.

Comments (22)
  1. Oh gosh this post is on point! I’m not a fan of Facebook but for some reason it’s amazing for my business. But most of my friends gave up on Facebook and we interact in the real world. I’m a huge fan of getting off line and going out and hanging out! In the words of my favorite SNL skit, there’s a new dating app and it’s called “Go Outside” – meet real people!

    1. Kat says:

      So glad to hear there’s someone out there having real friendships! I think Facebook has lost its sparkle, so thankfully people are starting to get bored and look for alternatives… like “Go Outside”. Haha. Love that. Thanks for commenting! x

  2. Oh man! I needed to read this. I’m definitely guilty of feeling all caught up with my friends because I’ve seen their latest shenanigans on Facebook – but haven’t physically seen them in months! This is why I end up making such great friends at work, because I’m forced to interact with them so much more, forming bonds stronger than Facebook.

    I’ll be calling someone tonight to check in 🙂

    1. Kat says:

      Well you’re certainly not alone! And yes, I noticed the same thing at my last job (redundant now as I work from home!) – isn’t it crazy? Enjoy the call – set an alarm to remind yourself! 😉

  3. Kelly says:

    I totally agree. I only have people on my personal fb page that i know and see in person. I think texting is just so easy and I’m guilty of this. My boys are very vocal when I’m on the phone and for me its just easier to text but i do miss the phone conversations.

    1. Kat says:

      I can imagine the background noise could get a bit much! It’s hard – we’re always being pulled in so many directions so of course convenience comes first, but there’s nothing like a good old chat every once in awhile. 🙂

  4. I can completely relate to everything you talked abut here!! I do have difficulty being the initiater in friendships, then I cry & complain that I have no friends!! You’re 100% right, the responsibility falls on me. This sounds like an amazing book, btw.

    1. Kat says:

      It’s so funny how we do that – I’ve always gotten so down about my lack of quality friendships, completely ignoring the fact that I was doing nothing to nourish them! And yes, the book is lovely – has been a good source of little prompts that have helped me make bigger picture changes this year. Check it out if you get the chance! 🙂

  5. Cynthia says:

    This is incredible, and kind of depressing. We’re really not as busy as we think we are. I still remember how exciting it was to actually call your friends when you were at school. You make some good points, and I’m happy to say I gleefully send birthday cards and am lucky to have friends who do the same. Such a special and exiting little love token. Many online friendships are really just glorified stalking. Let’s get back to good, pure connection. Perfectly written post.x

    1. Kat says:

      You’re so right. We say we’re busy, but we seem to make time for some things and not others! Yay – glad to hear you’re a birthday card sender.. there’s nothing quite like it! Thanks so much for your comment xx

  6. Julie says:

    You nailed it! Facebook gives you a false sense of who your friends are. I lied to FB re my birthdate so now all these ‘friends’ wish me Happy Birthday on the wrong day. My real friends know. Good advice thanks

    1. Kat says:

      Ooh, sneaky – I like it! That’s a great idea – might have to try it myself. Thanks for commenting! 🙂

  7. Meg says:

    Loved this article. It’s very true that people often put in minimal effort these days and figure social media interaction covers them on the friendship front. It’s even harder when you factor in travel to the mix. I’ve been travelling for nearly five years and so find it hard sometimes to keep in touch and keep up with what my friends are doing at home. I message my closest friends almost daily and without them I would feel very sad indeed! Friendships are likes plants – you need to love and water them if you want them to grow!

    1. Kat says:

      Thanks, Meg! 🙂 Yes, it was when I started moving around a lot that I noticed a quick decline in the quality of my friendships — I went a good 6 years without putting any real effort into staying in touch which is a bit sad… some can be saved but others are too far gone! Glad to hear you message yours regularly – they’re lucky to have you!

  8. Chante says:

    SO SPOT ON! I’ve been thinking about this topic a lot lately and how crazy it is that people now live through their phones rather than in the real world ha (I’m guilty of this too sometimes!). I love all the suggestions you made 🙂 Such a wonderful post! xx

    1. Kat says:

      Thanks so much for commenting – glad you agree! 😉 xx

  9. Amaia says:

    So true that chatting takes way much time than a phone call! Facebook helps me to keep in touch with much more people that I could do without it, but it is true that that relationships have to go over FB in order to really exists

    1. Kat says:

      Yep, especially when you talk as fast as I do! Haha. Thanks for reading & commenting 🙂 x

  10. Amber says:

    I could definitely relate to this post – especially the birthday part since my birthday was just a few weeks ago. Yeah,I definitely feel like I’ve become more anti-social in the last few years, but perhaps it is time for me to put myself out there! Thanks!

  11. Lydia says:

    Oh my word! I am the same way when it comes to not receiving replies and what-not. I immediately jump to “they hate me!” too. Yeah, I might be a little insecure, I think. *sigh* I’ll talk to my therapist about that one. Oh crap, we only have a facebook relationship. *double sigh* lol!

    Seriously though, your post was so on point. I’m there with you on the friendship struggle. I’m a military wife, so you find yourself having to constantly rebuild your friendship circle. But, I have found that the ones that last are the ones where we barely interact on facebook and actually show up at each other’s houses!

    As for the texting, I seriously have phone anxiety about talking on the phone. I know. I’m weird. So yeah, I prefer to text or else the person on the other end would just hear me heaving with anxiety. Just kidding. It’s not that bad. But really, don’t call me. Just text.

    Wanna be friends? lol!

  12. Ricardina Silva says:

    Personally, one key advantage of Facebook is to make possible to keep me updated and in contact with family, friends and acquaintances that I haven’t seen for long time just because I moved to a different country. And yes, can be addictive and a negative influence, in particular when used to gossip. Gossiping doesn’t help anyone! It only brings negative energy, toxicity to the relationships and surrounding milieu. My advice: be mindful about what you are sharing special on social media. The words are powerful, use them wisely.

    1. Kat says:

      Totally agree, Ricardina. Facebook is amazing when it comes to connecting with people that would otherwise be out of our day-to-day lives — my problem is with people using it as an excuse to not connect in real life (or even over the phone) because Facebook makes us “feel” like we’re connected to them… even if we’re quietly lurking in the shadows! Like anything, balance is the key. 🙂

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